beginning with binaries
what they are, what they do
Hello and welcome! This month we’re starting to look at nonbinary approaches to binaries. While there are obvious limitations to defining something like nonbinary approaches in terms of something else, like the binary, we’re starting here because if we don’t understand the binary culture we’re living in, nonbinary approaches seem less like an approach and more like senseless chaos.
Most of us have heard about binary thinking either in terms of coding, if we’re in tech, or in terms of the gender binary. But binary thinking isn’t isolated to these two spaces; it underlies a lot of our thinking. And it can be difficult to recognize unless you have a sense of what binary structure looks like. This email covers binary structure, and a couple of things that structure tells us.
As always, feel free to take your time reading this and return to it as often as you like. Thanks for being here,
Kali
binary structure
Let’s begin with the simplest definition of a binary. A binary is a two-option organizing tool that helps us sort complex situations, feelings, and experiences into clear categories. In a binary, each option is separate and distinct from the other.
One of the easiest ways to notice binaries is by their structure: this or that. either/or. good/bad. yes/no.
You’re reading an email about nonbinary approaches, which kind of assumes that I’ll be critiquing binary thinking, and I will, don’t worry! But before we get into the weightiness of what binary culture is doing to us, and why we so desperately need alternatives, I want to note that there are a couple of reasons why using binaries can be helpful.
This kind of sorting tool is incredibly powerful: it creates the possibility of clarity in a messy, overwhelming world. It can also be really helpful: having two options to choose from is much easier and quicker, in a lot of cases, than sorting through four, or 20, or 100 possibilities.
Binaries help us orient and locate ourselves, other people, experiences, and all kinds of things, without overloading our brains all the time.
what binaries do, part 1: opposition
The structure of a binary shows us a couple of things. First, and perhaps most obviously to most of us, binaries create an opposing relationship between two things.
This might be the part of binary thinking that we’re the most familiar with — the sorting of things into distinct and opposite categories.
The logic of the binary says: that is NOT this, and vice versa. There is no overlap of these two categories — there’s a strong, inflexible border between these two things.
Each side of the binary, each category can be defined as the other’s opposite. If you think about a really common binary, like good/bad, we can illustrate this separation by saying something like “telling the truth is good, so we know that not telling the truth is bad.” Because telling the truth falls into the good side of the binary, the negation or opposite of it goes in the bad category.
We could illustrate this underlying logic of binaries with a silly example: if we write coffeetable/oranges, this construction probably doesn’t make sense as a binary. There are definite differences between oranges and coffeetables, but it’s hard to understand them as oppositional. For most of us, it’s not that helpful to just define an orange as not a coffeetable — since so many other things besides oranges fit into that category.
This leads us to a second point about what binaries do.
what binaries do, part 2: relationship
There’s something subtle underneath the previous statement that binaries create oppositional relationships between two things: binaries don’t describe an oppositional relationship that already exists in the world — by bringing two things together, they create a relationship between them.
Part of what our silly binary coffeetable/oranges illuminates is this creation of relationship. This binary is confusing because the relationship between the two sides isn’t clear — we aren’t used to thinking of these things as really having anything to do with each other.
This confusion is, under the surface, reminding us that when we put a slash between two things, when we contrast them, or say that they are opposites, we’re also connecting them. We’re putting them in relationship with each other. And if we do this enough times, say over several hundred or thousand years, we forget that the binary creates relationship and begin to assume that a relationship inherently exists between them.
With binaries that are really ingrained in our culture, this assumption of relationship mostly happens unconsciously. Because of years of cultural reinforcement, we’re used to thinking of binaries like good/bad as natural; it’s pretty easy to miss or skip over that these two things have been drawn into relationship by binary thinking.
nonbinary approaches
A foundational question of nonbinary approaches is, What happens if we don’t accept the terms of the binary? What if these two things aren’t actually opposites? What if, deep down, they aren’t even related at all?
What if something we’re used to taking for granted, like the good/bad binary, actually makes as much sense as coffeetable/oranges, which is to say not that much at all?
If you feel confused reading this — welcome to nonbinary approaches! I’m only kind of joking — confusion is a really important part of learning to think in nonbinary ways in a binary-obsessed world. I have learned, over years of being with my confusion and frustration, a little bit at a time, that my confusion means that something out of the norm is happening.
Confusion is a clue that things are not as obvious or sure as they might seem on the surface.
some practices for noticing binaries
If you want to practice recognizing binaries, you can try this:
Put two minutes on a timer and write down as many either/or combos you can think of. (If you’re struggling with where to begin, you can take a look at this list and try filling in the blanks.)
Over the next month, see if you notice any of these binaries as you move through the world. You might hear other people using them, notice yourself thinking them, or see them in media, writing, or places that might surprise you.
Some questions you might ask:
Which binaries do you notice all the time?
Which binaries don’t you hear or see very often?
What does your confusion feel like?
If you want to send me your list of binaries, and any answers to these or other questions, I would love to see them!
A note: you might not believe that these either/or categories are real, or they might feel very normal to you - any reaction is totally okay. The thing this exercise is designed to do is get us thinking about how everyday and widespread binaries are.
(If you want to dive a little deeper into some of the consequences of the good/bad binary, and how it impacts us, I’m running a workshop on April 25th that talks about some of the pressures that this binary puts us under. More info here.)
Sending you much queer love,
Kali